Mercury Retrograde ‘101’

APRIL 1st to 25th

As we approach Mercury Retrograde, it's natural to feel a twinge of apprehension. However, let me assure you that the world will keep turning, and life will continue. Retrograde cycles, including Mercury's, invite us to delve inward and explore the themes these planetary movements present. Mercury governs communication, how we express ourselves, and how we translate our thoughts into language. It embodies curiosity and thrives in the uncomfortable spaces of the in-between, emphasising process over destination and expanding our consciousness.

Understanding your unique communication style is essential. You can do this by looking at your Human Design chart and finding the gate Mercury occupies. The chart has two sides: the Personality side (conscious/black) and the Design side (subconscious/red). Mercury's position on the Personality side shows what we need to communicate in this lifetime. On the Design side, we might share without fully understanding why. These Mercury gates give valuable insights into how we communicate and think.

During Mercury Retrograde, reflecting on how to better align ourselves for greater influence and impact is crucial. This involves carefully choosing your words and refraining from confrontations, major decisions, signing contracts, or significant purchases. Anticipate delays, technological glitches, and miscommunications, and practice patience during these challenging moments.

The retrograde theme encourages introspection into potential barriers holding you back. This moment of self-reflection, devoid of immediate action, serves as a catalyst for long-term expansion and growth. Take the opportunity to assess what aspects of your life are thriving and what requires healing, releasing, aligning, or concluding. Embrace this period to carve out space for future endeavours. Should challenging conversations arise, strategise your approach but delay initiation until after the retrograde to mitigate the risk of misunderstandings or exaggerated reactions.

While the energy may feel tense, there's no need for fear. Remember to practice active listening and embrace patience as you navigate through challenges. You have the power to revisit and address these obstacles when you feel more prepared. It's common to lose sight of oneself in the quest to satisfy others, but now is the perfect time to utilise this energy to strengthen your connection with yourself. Trust in this process and align with your inner self, as this will undoubtedly pave the way for remarkable growth and transformation in the future.

Working with your energy.

Human Design offers a profound insight into harnessing our energy effectively rather than working against it. It serves as a compass guiding us to tune into the subtle whispers of our body's consciousness. These messages, when ignored, amplify until they demand our attention. The Strategy in Human Design encourages us to pause, awaiting the right cues rather than rushing forward aimlessly.

The Human Design chart serves as a valuable tool for self-awareness. Despite years of practice, there are still moments when I find myself out of sync. Yet, this awareness allows me to recognise when I've veered off course and empowers me to realign.

Understanding my energy revealed a significant pattern of overextending myself. As a natural doer, I'd readily lend a hand, often neglecting my needs. It took time to realise how much I undervalued my energy, prioritising others' needs over mine. This habit stemmed from a deep-seated desire to please others, rooted in a lack of self-worth.

Identifying as a Generator, I've learned to trust my gut instincts, discerning between genuine enthusiasm and obligatory agreement. I thrive when I honour my inner guidance, yet I feel drained and frustrated when I overcommit out of guilt. Untangling a lifetime of people-pleasing is a journey I'm committed to for self-improvement.

Recently, I came across a podcast discussing reframing people-pleasing habits. The speaker, Natalie Lue, emphasised the importance of understanding our capacities and taking moments to assess our energy before agreeing to commitments. She advocated for setting firm boundaries and embracing simplicity to alleviate overwhelm. By reframing our fears and learning to say no, we open ourselves to opportunities that align more closely with our true desires.

Journal #21

Emotions are innate, biologically driven reactions to particular challenges and opportunities here to help us to survive.

Whether you are Emotionally defined or not, the full spectrum of emotions is always present in one way or another. They are responsible for our moods and for influencing the moods of others. Tuning into your feelings is a fantastic barometer for your emotional health and others. Dissecting your feelings in the present moment can tell you a lot about what is going on for you, the situation at hand or perhaps what your subconscious is trying to say to you.

BITTERNESS
Where do you need to heal? What judgements of yourself or others are you still holding onto

RESENTMENT
Where are you living in the past and not allowing the present to be as it is?

DISCOMFORT
What is happening right now that you need to pay attention to? Are you being given an opportunity to change or to do something different that seems scary or uncomfortable?

ANGER
What are you passionate about? Do you have solid boundaries? To simmer this emotional reaction, what needs to change?

DISAPPOINTMENT
What have you tried lately that didn’t go to plan but you still 100% care about?

GUILT
Whose and what expectations are you still trying to live out?

SHAME
What beliefs about who you should be (or who you are) are you internalising? Which ones are stopping your connection to self?

SADNESS
Where is this coming from? How deep does this sadness go? Is it personal or about caring for others or the world around you?

ANXIETY
What is worrying you? Are your thoughts stuck in the past, or do you fear the future? What do you need to fully embrace being in the present? Are there any practices you can put in place to assist you?

Next time you feel the following triggering emotions, take a moment to be still and reflect on the root cause could be. Give yourself plenty of time and space to feel the feels to allow your emotional awareness and clarity to come through. It takes time, so don't rush the process or ignore it. Your emotions have a sneaky way of catching up with you one way or another. And please NEVER be afraid to talk to someone, a friend, family member or healthcare professional; we are all here to be a sounding board if you need one.

Journal #19

For years I lived a life based on expectations. The expectation I placed on myself to live a life that I thought I SHOULD be living rather than the life I wanted to live but was not privy to at the time. Don’t get me wrong; I lived a privileged life. I grew up in an amazingly creative, loving family; surrounded by inspiring and humble role models. I was and still am very lucky. There is no denying that. But even those with privilege can have conditioning they need to confront. Often, like me, you do not realise the conditioning exists until you stop, reflect and discover what you were striving for, perhaps was contributing to the conditioning all along. This was me at 35. A year after my daughter, our second child, was born. I felt lost and confused. I lacked motivation, passion and creativity. I was stuck and desperate to understand myself on a deeper level. I wanted more.

So who was I? I wasn’t sure. 

What I did know was this. I am the youngest in my family. I was the shy, sensitive one who would cry at the drop of a hat. To give myself credit, I had a lot of love to offer, almost too much, so when I got hurt, I hurt deep. Yet, being the people pleaser that I was, and I stress the word ‘was, I would be so quick to judge my actions rather than the actions of the person who hurt me to keep the peace. The confrontation was and still is not my strong suit.

People-pleasing was something I had always done; I knew no different. I was subconscious to it. How it started, who knows, yet somewhere along the line, something must have happened that I decided I was not worthy. So I began my search for recognition, for external validation to prove my worth in the world. To prove my loyalty to others as a way to feel valued. If only I knew back then that my self-worth comes from within, not from others. I am all I need in this world to feel valued and seen. Try telling that to an impressionable teenager, adventurous young adult and nervous new mum. 

Speaking of motherhood, I began noticing my people-pleasing ways after having Edie. More importantly, I started paying attention to just how exhausted I was. I also felt frustrated when I said ‘yes’ when I didn’t have the energy to say ‘no’. I was angry. Angry at myself for not having the confidence to say no. To stand up for me, for my needs and wants. The issue was I was also lost. I couldn’t identify what I wanted or needed except for these things. I knew I wanted to change. I wanted to understand myself better. I wanted to be passionate about something. I wanted to be creative again, but not how I always defined my creativity.

Then, and without sounding too cliche, Human Design landed in my lap. Sceptical at first, perhaps even confused by it all, but as I dived into my chart, I was able to peel back the layers of conditioning to view myself from a different perspective. It was my clean slate to rebuild from. But this time, I had a new sense of clarity about how to use my energy out in the world. It introduced me to my intuition that I had been ignoring for my whole life. Human Design permitted me to be myself, to learn to say no as a way to protect my energy so I could use it for the things I enjoy. And this, my friends, as simple as it sounds, was a game changer!! Slowly I began to recognise things in myself I didn’t see but perhaps others have always seen. It felt like I was piecing together the puzzle of Billie. I still am, three years on. The more I dive deep into my chart, the more I discover. It is crazy. Oh, so many ‘AHA’ moments.

This is me. At the ripe old age of 41. Living a life that I couldn’t of imagined in my wildest dreams. Running a small business where I get to help others discover themselves just like I did. Holding space so they can feel seen and heard. And for that, I am genuinely thankful. 

I have no regrets in my life so far. Despite the people-pleasing, I had some epic experiences that got me to where I am today. Sometimes you have to go through darkness to have growth and to have grown to be true to yourself. 

Journal #10

Over half the world's population is Emotionally defined, which means their Emotional Solar Plexus is coloured brown in the Human Design Chart. This is your Authority and is an essential step to your decision making process. It is your nature to experience the full spectrum of feelings, moving from pain to pleasure.

Emotions are like rolling waves, rising and falling, peaking and dipping, never sitting still for too long. When you feel happy, you want to capture the moment. When you feel sad, you wonder when the blues will end. There is never a state of permanence when it comes to your emotions. Therefore, you need to recognise these emotional waves and allow them to pass through you instead of owning you. Never get attached to a particular feeling or the expectation of how something might turn out. Emotional decisions made in the heat of the moment are your worst enemy. It would be best if you allowed your emotions to pass through you, disengage from them and wait for calmer waters before you make your move. Clarity will come. A good tip is to sleep on things before making an important decision.

Being emotionally defined, your feelings about 'this' or 'that' become an authoritative guide. These feelings are your indicators of what is correct for you or not. "Does it feel good to do that?" "How do I feel about it?". These are essential questions to ask yourself. You need to take the time to fully experience your range of feelings without being rushed. Emotional clarity is reached when there is no longer an emotional charge attached to the decision. Easier said than done, but you need to practice the art of patience to avoid poor, spontaneous choices that could end in feeling bitter, frustrated, angry or disappointed.

A plus side to Emotional defined energy is its juicy, seductive power, which gives you an advantage if you wait out your wave, playing hard to get. The longer others wait, the more they will want your Emotionally defined warmth and energy. If they can't wait, then it is not meant to be.

As you have this centre defined, you are responsible not only for your own moods but for influencing the moods of the people around you. Your emotions affect people within your aura and trigger their emotions. Your feelings are contagious! Having Emotional Authority, you have to be careful you don't succumb to impatience. Avoid rushing the process, accept invitations that are not energetically correct for you or jumping into a commitment too early. Instead, you must wait, check in with your emotional wave, pause and check-in again. By waiting for clarity, you may receive an even more delicious invitation. For significant decisions, your Strategy would simply be to request a day or two to think it over. If you are still not clear, ask for more time and/or clarification of the details.

There are three different types of Emotional waves people can experience with this centre defined, based on what channels you have defined (coloured in) in your chart. The waves are Individual, Tribal or Collective. 

The Individual Wave is if you have Channel 22-12, Channel of Openness or Channel 55-39, Channel of Emoting. This wave will see your emotions travelling from one end of the spectrum to the other. This wave is passionate and moody. Your emotions are usually quite even keel with short bursts of highs and lows, triggered spontaneously. The low end of the spectrum will see you quite melancholic. A mood that needs to be honoured and not dismissed. Great insight can come when at the low point of this wave if you can tolerate it. When you feel yourself on your wave, it is essential to remember that this wave is simply a chemical process that keeps you in motion. There is no explanation for why your emotions shift, just let go and embrace the fact that this state won't last forever. Knowing when to be alone versus when to be social will make all the difference.

The Tribal Wave is if you have Channel 49-19, Channel of Love and Marriage, Channel 6-59, Channel of Reproduction, Channel 37-40, Channel of Community. This wave Wave is prone to explosions and outbursts following the build-up of upsets. The build-up is caused by you hiding your feelings away. You think you are okay; you think you are handling everything. All while the emotional pressure builds and then something or someone triggers you, and you lose it. To alleviate the stress before a big blowout, try to become aware of hiding your feelings. Start being honest with yourself and with others around you, even if it is a tricky conversation. Having a more open dialogue about how you feel with yourself and others will allow patience and compassion to come through. Try setting clear boundaries for yourself so you don't get disappointed when expectations are not met. In those dire moments where you do lose it, just know that gentle touch on the shoulder by your partner or friend will calm your system and bring you back to reality.

Lastly, the Collective Wave is Channel 36-35, Channel of Transitoriness or Channel 30-41, Channel of Fantasy and Desire. This wave has high highs and low lows. The lows come when expectations are not met, and so your emotions crash. The trick to transcending this wave is to enter into something just for the experience without expecting an outcome. Make sure your intention isn't emotionally charged, and always remember to follow your Strategy!

Regardless of which wave you have, and some may have a combination of two, being Emotionally defined means your Authority is emotionally driven. When you make decisions, you must (and I mean must) wait for your emotions to reach a point of even keel. You are not hard-wired to make decisions in the heat of the moment. Instead, it is about making them over time when there is emotional clarity in your convictions. Riding your emotional wave will take awareness and practice. You will need to play with and see for yourself what this means for you. Take your time making decisions, and know that you will reach clarity over time. You are here to be deliberate, not spontaneous.

Journal #6

How many times in a week would you say the word 'should' when making decisions about things? For example, 'Should I go to the party even though I am feeling tired?' ' I should call my sister back to avoid her getting upset with me' or 'I should go and tend to my kids needs rather than squeeze in the 20-minute meditation that I know will make me feel better'. I am not sure about you, but this was a constant dialogue I had with myself daily. Until I began to take inventory of how much I said the word 'should'. Have you ever thought about what would happen if you actually turned that 'should' into a 'no'. What would that feel like? I imagine scary at first, but in the end, amazing! It might mean you are actually listening to your needs as opposed to the needs of others. You are finally pleasing yourself, rather than your fellow party goers, your sister or children. I am sure they will forgive you for saying 'no'. You might be pleasantly surprised that in fact they might not actually give two hoots, and instead understand that you have things to do and just sometimes you need to put yourself first.

So try it… I challenge you! Start listening to yourself, and when you hear the word 'should', allow yourself to be completely honest as to whether it's worth your energy or not. Tune into your authority and learn to say 'no' from time to time. See what happens, maybe something wonderful will come out of it! I would love to hear how you go.